He popped the big question. You closed on your new place. You landed the job that you’ve always wanted. You were accepted into the college of your dreams. Baby is on the way. All of these events are wonderful new beginnings that bring joy and excitement. You are elated at the news and feel that your dreams are coming true. You can’t wait to share the news and begin your new journey. With all of that joy and excitement, what is that other feeling that is creeping in and why is it getting stronger and stronger?
From Joy to Panic
Even the most joyous of occasions can be overwhelming. That new thing, whatever it is, throws the flow of the life that you are accustomed to out of balance. That lack of balance can quickly move you from a place of joy into panic. As you deal with the anxiety, if you’re not careful, you miss the opportunity to truly experience your accomplishment. Things can quickly spin out of control as you move from enjoying what is happening now and begin to focus on what’s next. It’s hard to enjoy being engaged if your mind immediately goes to planning the perfect wedding. There is so much richness in now and truth be told, it is all that we really have. The past is a memory that focuses us on what was. The future is a fantasy that focuses us on what might be. When we lose focus on now, we open ourselves up to operating from a place of F.E.A.R. The Fantasy of what might be Explodes and makes our thoughts run rampant Altering our Reality. That shift makes it impossible to enjoy and experience what is actually happening.
Managing the F.E.A.R
The sooner that you realize that F.E.A.R has taken over, the better. I covered F.E.A.R is more detail earlier. Read about it here: https://manifestingmiraclemakers.com/2022/02/17/f-e-a-r/. Although it’s uncomfortable, it’s manageable. Begin to get F.E.A.R under control by:
- Realizing that the lack of control is only temporary. Something wonderful has happened. Enjoy it! Yes, plans have to be made, but if you’re operating in F.E.A.R, you are being robbed of the opportunity to enjoy the new experience to the fullest.
- Making a plan but staying flexible. Life is going to happen, and the best laid plans may require adjustments. Expect change.
- Doing the most important thing in that moment. We are a society of multi-taskers and most take great pride in doing multiple things at once. Be careful. If you are doing multiple things, nothing is receiving your full attention. You will burn yourself out and feed the anxiety. It’s much better to decide what the most important action is now, commit to it, and give that your all. Once that is done, repeat. This approach will help you to focus while you work through your plan.
- Remember the accomplishment or event that you were so excited about in the first place. It is your “why”. It is the reason that these extra tasks are required. Remembering why you’re doing something, is a great way to regain perspective, and focus.
- BREATHE! Find time to relax. Do the things that bring calm into your life. Give yourself a break. Recharge the battery and come back and do the most important thing in that moment.
Life, as you know it, will return as you begin to adjust to the change. Plans will be made. Adjustments will be accepted and eventually, your routine will feel normal again. I am in the midst of a new beginning. My role at work expanded significantly. It is an amazing opportunity, and it is exactly the type of work that I enjoy. I know that I am ready for it. There is alignment and things are flowing naturally and pretty smoothly. However, I am not eating or sleeping as well as I usually do. My workday is long again. I am transitioning from one role to another which means that I am doing two jobs at the moment. I am hiring and bringing on new employees. We are building a team that did not exist before but is already in high demand. So, as you can imagine, I am both exhilarated and stressed. When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I look for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that it is only a matter of time before everyone is hired. As each person comes onboard, the load of the mission will be redistributed allowing me to narrow my focus. It’s already happening. I just have to remind myself of that when the uneasiness tries to rise. We will put systems and structure in place that will become my new normal and the world will slow down a bit again. I will delegate so that I am not trying to do it all. I am surrounded by and hiring brilliant people. I will let them be brilliant in the area that they know best and focus more and more on my area of expertise. It is an exciting time if I focus on now. I won’t allow myself to get lost in “what if”. I know that if I do the most important thing now, tomorrow will take care of itself.
Enjoy the Ride
Congratulate yourself. Let the excitement of that new thing wash over you time and time again. Adjust when necessary. It will all work out. When the new routine becomes your normal routine, you won’t remember what you were so stressed about anyway. One day at a time, one task at a time, you will get there. Your focus on now and ability to handle change, will determine what it feels like along the way. When things are not going as planned, have your moment. Feel your feelings and ask yourself, what is the most important thing for me to do now? Do that and enjoy the ride!